Are You Prepared? Take The Test Step #1- A New RealityWarning- This test is designed to give you a glimpse of what it’s like when someone close to you dies. You may find the experience uncomfortable, even distressing. It’s 4AM and you wake up from a nightmare in a cold sweat. Something is wrong. You can feel it. Then you remember that your spouse died last night. Your heart is broken and you are waking up to a new reality. This death could have been from a long illness, or it could have been one of the 40% of sudden and unexpected deaths in the Country. Most likely you are one of the 80% of wives whose husband died first. To make matters worse, you are responsible for dealing with their death… What do you do? Who do you call? Your next steps often depend on where, when and how your loved one died. If he/she died at home, often the local funeral home transfers your spouse back to the funeral home. If the death was sudden, the ambulance may have been called, and the body probably was transferred to the medical examiner for an autopsy. In either case, having a plan is essential. Whether expected or not, death is traumatic, and those without a plan could suffer needlessly. Do you have a funeral home in your area that you know and trust? Did your spouse have a preference for a specific funeral home? Step 2- The Funeral Arrangement- Who Is Coming With You. It’s been less than 24 hours since your spouse died, and you have an appointment at the funeral home at 11AM. Before you go, there are a number of decisions that have to be made. One of the most important decisions you have to make is who is coming with you. Do you have a list of people who can come to the funeral arrangement in as little as 24 hours? Have you communicated to these people that they would be expected to be part of this process? Do YOU know who will be making the decisions? Do THEY know who will be making the decisions? Do you know who is paying for the Funeral? Some additional questions you should ask yourself… Are there step-children involved in this? Do they share the same values about Funerals? Do they have the same religious beliefs? Do all these people get along? Does anyone know what the deceased wanted? Tip: It is important to consider the relationships between the people who will be involved at the funeral arrangement. Everyone reacts to loss differently- everyone has different needs (viewing or not viewing). Every family has its own dynamics, and for many families there can be conflict in the arrangement office. Step 3- The Funeral Arrangement- It’s Decision Time It’s 11AM, and you are sitting at a round table at the local funeral home with your loved ones, waiting for the funeral director. The room is quiet, with light music playing in the background. You’re exhausted. Your brain isn’t working properly from overwhelming grief and lack of sleep. Most likely you and your family are in shock. In a few minutes, the funeral director will walk through the door to begin a two to three hour meeting. He/She will be expecting that you know what type of funeral you want, and that you have answers to all his/her questions in this lengthy, but important meeting. Unfortunately when someone dies, this is the time when irreversible decisions have to be made. Are you prepared to make them? Do you have a prepaid funeral plan? Do you have an unpaid funeral plan? The Paperwork When someone dies, it is a legal matter, and there is a great deal of information and vital statistics that are required to complete government documentation and to write a thoughtful obituary. Do you have access to, or do you know, all that you need to know to complete this? The Disposition Who is the funeral for? Do you know what type of funeral your spouse wanted? If you do know what type of service your spouse wanted was it an educated decision based on what others may need? Are there small children involved? What are their needs? How will you answer their questions? Will your loved one be buried or cremated? Burial Do you want the body to be present at the funeral service? If you have a viewing, will it be public or private? Do you know where your spouse wants to be buried? Is there a cemetery plot? Cremation Are you aware that you can have the body present for the funeral service and still have cremation? Will there be a viewing? If you have a viewing, will it be public or private? Do you understand why having a viewing is important? Did your spouse want the cremated remains scattered or kept in an Urn? What are your wants and needs? The Products Selecting a casket or an urn can be incredibly difficult. How do you choose the container your loved one will spend eternity in? To complicate matters, there are dozens of caskets and urns available, each with their own uniqueness, and they range in price from very inexpensive to over $30,000. The wide range of choices, and the pressure to do it right, can lead to excess stress and conflict within the family. Do you know what type of casket or urn your spouse wanted? The Service These are questions that seem easy to answer now, but families often struggle to make them, and they can sometimes feel that they made the wrong decisions. Will there be a memorial service or a gathering? If you are having a service, do you know: Where the service will be held? Who the pallbearers are? Who will be officiating? Type of music played? Type of flowers? Is there a eulogy? Who will give the eulogy and readings? Will transportation be provided for family? Any special requests like a butterfly release, video tribute? Notifications Do you have a list of people, other than family, who will need to be notified? After The Service It’s now been a week since your loved one passed away. The funeral is over, and everyone is going home. Your head is still swimming, and you can’t seem to focus on anything. The whole experience seems like a dream, but you know it isn’t because you are alone. You have been able to manage fairly well because you’ve been busy, and you have had a lot of support, but the mornings are the worst because your loved one isn’t there. Unfortunately it isn’t over. You are now expected to handle a maze of complicated details while you are dealing with overwhelming grief. Do you have access to the following documents and programs the deceased may have been involved in? You will need this information to apply for benefits, for tax returns, etc. This is just a partial list: Will? Life Insurance Policies? Investments? Banking Information? Social Security? Employer Pension? Drivers License? Credit Cards? Credit Card benefits? Veteran’s Benefits? Title Transfers? Life Insurance? Your Life Insurance- change of Beneficiary? Property Insurance? Health Insurance? Auto Insurance? Utilities? Quiz ResultsCongratulations, you have just taken a step that most people do not as the fear of the unknown often prevents us from dealing with reality. Most people find this test very uncomfortable, even distressing, but it is a mere shadow of the actual turmoil and chaos that occurs when someone close to you dies. Regardless of your results, we strongly encourage you to do the responsible thing and address the areas where you are lacking by doing more research or by contacting one of the funeral professionals listed on this website. The people who love you will thank you for it, even if you are not there. It’s important to know that this test was created because funeral professionals have witnessed first-hand and have also experienced the pain and suffering that death brings. The whole intent is to help you. It may be painful, but seeing people suffer needlessly and families sometimes destroyed simply because we don’t want to deal with our own mortality. We wish you well in your planning. Click here to contact one of our Network Providers